I dont know how long I can keep waiting. Everyday my heart is breaking even more but I am also falling more in love with him. God said wait, but how long? I cant keep getting hurt like this. Whenever we agree to meet he cancels, whats wrong with me?
Why does no one love me? Why am I not attractive to others, not good enough for anyone? All I want is to feel loved, to feel accepted and wanted in this life. I dont know what to do. I want, need a straight answer from him. Does he love me or not?
I feel so unworthy, so ashamed of myself. I dont want to feel like this but I do. I always have sinec childhood. The only way I know how to feel love or appreciated is through anything related to sex, which isnt a good way to feel loved. That was the only way I ever felt love or was expressed love in a way that I accepted it. Alot of the time I feel like I have to give him something, or do something to him to make him want me and love me.
If that is true then I know its the wrong type of relationship to be in but to me it seems better than being alone. Anything is better than being alone, I just want to fell loved, be loved and be someone. I dont want to be a nobody anymore.
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