Wednesday, 24 December 2008

Favourites

I often wonder if my brother is favoured by my parents over me. Ever since I was a child I was compared to my older brother. Everything was never as good as Michael, I was never as smart, never a popular, never as musical, never as creative/artistic. I was never good enough for anyone.

There has only ever been one thing that I could call my own - photography. But now my brother has taken that up and is better than me. No matter what I do I can't be better than him, I am always living in his shadow.

I feel like I have dissapointed and let down my parents for not finding what I am good and and for not being better or at least equal to Michael. No matter how hard I try I will never be better than him.

This is something I struggle with everyday - and I need to give it to Jesus. I need to leave it at the cross and let Him heal my heart and show me what I am good at and how I am different and better than Michael in my own way.

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