Music makes me think...

"I tried to be perfect
But nothing was worth it
I don’t believe it makes me real
I thought it’d be easy
But no one believes me
I meant all the things I said

If you believe it’s in my soul
I’d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I’m trying to let you know
That I’m better off on my own

This place is so empty
My thoughts are so tempting
I don’t know how it got so bad
Sometimes it’s so crazy
That nothing can save me
But it’s the only thing that I have

If you believe it’s in my soul
I’d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I’m trying to let you know
That I’m better off on my own

On my own

I tried to be perfect
It just wasn’t worth it
Nothing could ever be so wrong
It’s hard to believe me
It never gets easy
I guess I knew that all along

If you believe it’s in my soul
I’d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I’m trying to let you know
That I’m better off on my own"

- Sum 41, Pieces

I love and hate this song. I love it because it reminds me that we cant be perfect - no matter how much we try. Its not worth it. I can relate to this song. I try to be perfect but can never reach it.

The lines:

"This place is so empty
My thoughts are so tempting
I don’t know how it got so bad
Sometimes it’s so crazy
That nothing can save me
But it’s the only thing that I have"

are the ones that really stand out for me. Its how I feel all the time. No matter how many people are with me I always feel lonely. My thoughts dominate me. That is how the devil gets to me. I dont know how my self harm got so bad... its out of control now and no one knows that its this bad. My life is one spiralling mess. Its crazy! Only Jesus can save me, He is the only thing I have. Apart from the self harm.

I hate this song because its me and I dont want to be like this. I want to be ok, I want to be safe.