What about now?

What about now? Now I have finished college and my life is changing? What am I going to be doing next year, where am I going to end up?

Last week after small group Morgan started asking me what I want to be when I grow up (although I am grown up). I told him I dont know. Morgan couldnt believe that I dont know what I am going to do. Recently my whole view on my career path has been changing. If you had asked me 3months ago what I was going to do with my life I would say 'I'm going to be a counsellor'... now I'm not so sure.

I still want to help people but maybe in a different way, maybe as a prison chaplin or a chaplin in a school/college. I am slowly doubting my ability to help people and to be someone who can make a change.

Yesterday my mother gave me a message from David. David is Joe's dad and Joe is one of the boys in my small group. The message was that Joe loves cell and David and Sara are so pleased that he has this group to go to. Its a real answer to prayer. This message is one that makes me feel a little better but I still have my reservations.

I feel useless at the moment, like there is nothing I can do to help or anyone that wants my help. I feel pushed to the sidelines, so insignificant in everything that is happening at DC3.

Nothing is clear annymore. I have no clue what life holds anymore and this scares me...